Our Tribe is Small and Comforting

This image was taken from an 800 year old tomb in the Monastery of Alcobaca, Portugal 

We need basic necessities, shelter, food, clean water, breathable air, sleep and clothes to keep us warm.  

Humans are strong and resilient.  We can do anything and often without help.  "I can do it all by myself!" starts at about two years old.  "I don't need you to do it for me, I'm not helpless." continues into old age......until the moment we are.

Living in a country where you don't read, write or speak the language can be a daily challenge.  We are lucky here in Coimbra, many people speak or understand enough English to help.  Then there is Google Translate and charades.  I'm really good at charades!   And we are learning the language and can communicate much better than we did two years ago.

My point is, even if we are alone in a foreign land, all by ourselves, no family, or friends or co-workers, we still need contact, connection and companionship.

People ebb and flow throughout our lives.  Some may not stay long but we make lasting memories along the way.

True friendship comes from those that support you, come to your aid, listen quietly, laugh with you and truly "see" you.

I see you

I treasure you

Offending Sensibilities

Sensibility is having the capacity for sensation or feeling; responsiveness or susceptibility to sensory stimuli. Mental susceptibility or responsiveness; quickness and acuteness of apprehension or feeling. And having a keen consciousness or appreciation.

Is putting someone's well being first while knowing you are offending their sensibilities ok? I know now it is not.

I recently offended a very dear friend by thinking I was being kind by letting him sit on a chair while I chose to sit on the floor. We had a back and forth....”Sit here please, he said” While I stubbornly refused and chose to sit on the floor. Back and forth and back and forth we went, he finally gave in and I felt happy that I was protecting him.

He frowned lovingly at me as I sat on the floor. I said to him, “I am sorry I have offended your sensibilities”. I feel bad about the entire episode. He was the epitome of a gentleman, offering a woman his mothers age the chair. I now know that I embarrassed him with my stubbornness and I am truly sorry. I don't relate to him on a mother/son age level but on an equal deep friendship level. Looking back on this I can see maybe there was a part of that mother/son coming from both of us to each other and my heart warms at the thought of it. I won't be arguing about being offered a chair ever again.

How much does it take before you turn your back?

This also has to do with sensibilities. I had a dream I was turning my back on a person that was acting in a way that offended me to the core. We were in a small room full of people waiting for his performance of sorts. I had the opportunity to tell him in front of everyone that he was being an asshole to the people that he had invited there. Everyone else were like sheep and just waited and accepted what they felt was normal behavior in society. He returned my opinion with insults of his own and I left the room and went outside.

I woke up in a state of deep sadness on the verge of tears. Avoiding the news from the US for the past year has made my life and heart lighter. When I was trying to figure out where the hell this dream came from I realized I glanced at a few lines about a Senator that was not allowed to inspect an immigration detention center for children taken away from their parents. They would not even let him in the door!

And then I saw the news of a famous designer that hung herself and left a note to her 13 year old daughter telling her that it wasn't her fault. Her obvious mental state and what she did will change the life of her impressionable daughter forever.

My entire life I have always felt my heart breaking when watching or reading the news, movie or book having to do with humans hurting other humans. I would sit on the sofa and cry wondering why the world is so awful, wanting to change it and knowing there is nothing I can do.

There are times when I really really dislike humans, but then one human comes along and offers me his seat.

Women I Have Met Who Inspire Me

I am from a generation where it was normal for men to travel alone, but never women and being from the US the media was always telling you to be afraid of something. It is a fearful society and women should not even go out alone after dark to the local grocery. Always look in the back seat of your car because someone could be hiding there to kill you! Bla bla bla!

Lisa:

The first single woman traveler I met turned out to become my beloved daughter in law. At that time she was in her late 20's and had just returned from working with the Peace Corp living in a small village in Poland for two years! She had major reverse culture shock coming back to the US and I had no clue what she was going through or how to comfort her. Her stories never ceased to amaze me and her intelligence and courage left me in awe more times than not. I always learn something when I am around her. She is a beautiful, passionate, thoughtful, loving and a deeply sweet woman. She is a scientist, educator and one of the smartest people I know. I am comforted that she is fiercely protective of me and adores me as much as I do her.

I was fortunate to meet two other courageous women travelers she made life long friends with during her time in the Peace Corp. I only spent a few short hours with these two woman and again I was rendered speechless and wanted more than anything to hear just one more story.

Barbara: While Lisa is tall and quiet with a sharp (when you least expect it) wit that will have you gasping for air as you guffaw and choke on your coffee, Barbara is short and feisty with a “Have party...I'm there” lively attitude. She is sweet and full of energy. I wish I could hang out with her.

Martha: Well, I don't know where to begin. Martha was in her 70's when she was in the Peace Corp and between the stories Lisa and Barbara recounted and the ones Martha told at brunch, I wish I had an auto-biography of her life. She climbed fences in the dark to get back into the closed area they were living because she stayed out too late. When she lived in America she frequently crashed University lectures. I remember when she was recounting a particular incident of her time in Poland and someone interrupted her. She turned her regal face and quite firmly said, “Excuse me, you are stepping on my story!” To this day we all use that line! How do you meet someone for a couple of hours and instantly fall in love?

Winnie the Pooh:

On one of our cruises while we were in the theater waiting for the show, the woman sitting next to me turned to me and pointed to the person on her other side and said, “There are so many old people on the ship and so many in wheelchairs!“ She happily introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Winnie the Pooh!” I thought…..ok, this should be fun. I gladly let her do all the talking and found out that she is 80 years old and at the age of 14 she took her first “boat ride” she called it, by herself from Indonesia to Holland where she stayed for two years. She said with humor in her voice that there were many orphans on board and the crew thought she was one of them and nearly shipped her off to an orphanage. She also hitchhiked across Europe twice when she was in her twenties! She has been traveling alone since her husband died and still loves to meet people. She volunteers with autistic children which is where she got her nickname Winnie the Pooh. When the band finished their intro song she actually, and quite loudly I might add……….”Woo Hoo’ed” I couldn’t stop giggling and enjoyed meeting her very much.

Ursula:

We met through an online forum about retiring to Thailand. She had recently moved to Chiang Mai from Germany and when we visited for our scouting trip she kindly showed us around. We stayed in touch for the next year and eventually moved into the same condo building in Chiang Mai. She took me to the grocery store and showed me how to take public transportation. We chatted over a German favorite of hers.....Sprite and Beer. It was surprisingly good....who would have thought! After 6 months or so we started to go our separate ways but I will always be grateful for her kindness to a scared new expat. Oh, by the way, she was 65 years old when she up and left Germany to live in a new country by herself!

Lani:

Is a writer, wanderer, teacher and possible stand up comedian. She has lived in Ecuador, the US Mainland, Hawaii, Thailand and Cambodia. She is now with her boyfriend, but she did not always have company. Lani's writing makes me laugh and think deep thoughts about myself, my circumstances, my choices and life in general. We met through social media and have stayed in touch with that little “Like” button and comments to each others blog posts. We met twice for lunch and it was not nearly enough because she is someone that is a hoot to hang out with. Thanks Lani, I am sending you good vibes for whatever journey you are on at the moment.

Chissy:

We said hello as I was taking out the trash. She was wondering if the “new people “ that moved in down the hall from her were the ones blasting their music ALL night long loud enough for the hotel next door to hear it! We immediately bonded over “Mr. Loud Neighbor” in between our condo units who is also an expat and thankfully only in the building 3 months at a time due to his work. There were times when Chissy and I would LINE chat at 3am when we couldn't get to sleep because of his music and it really helped us to keep our sanity. When the power would go out in the building or the time there was a drunk woman screaming in the hall at 2am we would send each other texts to see if we were alright.

We went to see hot air balloons and sat on the grass eating french fries and watching children laughing and playing. She took us to some of her favorite restaurants for Vietnamese Pho and amazing wood fired pizza with deep fried zucchini sticks! We celebrated Christmas together and had a small get together for New Years when we met her mom Cheryl and sister Celine. They are all strong, beautiful and an inspiration to me. Chissy has a fearless sense for adventure and the courage to live alone in a country different from her home in the Philippines.

One of the most amazing experiences I had with Chissy was when we visited a Karen Village where the Hill Tribe People have several elephants. Our adventure began by picking up 4 other women in their 20's and we spent the day with elephants by hugging, getting in the mud and spreading it on the elephants, washing, scrubbing them and then taking a bath in the river that flowed through the village to get the mud off of us. We met several of the village women and their small children and took a ton of pictures. The women with us that were making their dreams come true were from Mexico, England, South Africa and the US. They were trekking all over the planet from place to place, staying in hostels with their backpacks only long enough to taste the food and make life changing memories. Little did they know how they inspired a woman 40 years older than them.

Lady from Sweden:

Our current residence was in a condo practically on the beach near the sea town of Hua Hin in Thailand. Most of the units are weekend get-a-ways for the owners that live in Bangkok and some are rented out as holiday stays. So was the case when we met a woman from Sweden on the common roof top area. She was in her 60's and traveling alone for holiday. She related a story from the night before when she went to town and the remains of a tropical storm hit and flooded the main streets. By this time it was dark and she couldn't find anyone to bring her back to the condo. All efforts to flag down a taxi were no use and no one would stop for her. She found a policeman and told him that no one would help her get back to the condo. So, the policeman had her hop on the back of his motorcycle and he drove her back to the condo himself which takes about 20 minutes. She was laughing about the adventure and said she was overwhelmed by his kindness but terrified being on a motorcycle for the first time in her life and riding in the flooded streets!

Maria: We walk the beach early each morning before it gets too hot. For weeks we have passed a cute 60 something woman on her way back to their condo. She walks like a house a fire but always has the biggest smile and waves to us as she approaches. She is from Slovakia and the only form of communication we have is to wave, smile and say “Hallo”. I adore his woman even though it is a very brief connection she exudes aliveness, happiness, love and joy just with her smile and the giggle in her eyes.

Nada: Is from Croatia and has been traveling the world with her husband and 3 children for 20 years! Managing the logistics of traveling and setting up a home in various countries for months to years at a time while bringing up two boys 14 and 5 years old and one girl 11 years old just boggles the mind. They are well behaved, polite and grown up beyond their years. Nada has boundless energy and really should be a world travel agent. The excitement she has for travel and experiencing new places and people is amazing. I'm sure she could sell an ice house to a snowman!

Sylwie: Is from Sweden and comes to their condo in our building several times a year with their daughter Annie who was 9 when we met. The family is kind and so friendly and lovely and Annie is always approachable and happy to see us even though she only speaks Swedish. It is encouraging meeting children that are traveling the globe as those experiences do have a profound effect on how they look at the world and how accepting they are of different cultures. I look forward to seeing them again.

Sacha: It was an online date for pizza when Sacha and her husband Jmayel took a chance meeting us in Thailand. We had no idea we would be adopted by this woman, her husband and baby daughter. Social media has given us opportunities we never would have had and it has given them the courage to move from England with their dog Eden to Thailand and beyond. Just as we were thinking of moving to Portugal, we met for lunch and they told us they were also moving to Portugal and only 30 minutes away from us no less! She was newly pregnant as they moved to yet another country to make a life they have dreamed of far from the 9 to 5 cubicle day. We have supported each other, vented about life, grouched about expat challenges and laughed so much our face hurt. They are so easy to spend time with. I see a little bit of my young self in her and can't help compare the differences. Sacha is so wise, full of knowledge and composure I only wish I had even now. I appreciate her candor and the love that she gives me. I am always surprised how much trust she has and my heart is forever changed having her, J and their amazing daughter Story in my life.

E.V: We moved from Thailand to Portugal a year and a half ago. Our first and only visit to Coimbra was a solid coming home feeling and we decided to make it our forever home. A year after we moved, we connected with a woman from the US that decided to move here also. I have met many Americans visiting the city on holiday and they are usually “typical” loud, entitled, and snooty which makes me want to run the other way. So, when we met E.V. for the first time, I was on my guard and had a plan for escape should the conversation become uncomfortable.

Our good friend Jmayel said, “ Say yes, embrace the little moments and take a chance, because you never know how it will turn out”

Meeting E.V. was one of those times. She is a calming influence, extremely educated, a writer with numerous publications and three books so far. She raised three successful sons, has owned many horses, dogs, cats and who knows what other kinds of furry creatures have been lucky enough to share her home. We chat and text daily and meet for tea a couple times a week. We can have deep conversations, vent about global woman's issues, laugh at a darkly twisted story or just sit in silence. Friends like this don't come along often.

Carolyn: Speaking of rare special women I can't forget this one. We have a long history with many stories of laughter, tears, parties, sitting on the kitchen counter while she created delicious food, hangovers, loud music, deep conversations and more caring and love than anyone has a right to. We have not hugged in person for a very long time, but we still keep in touch and there will always be a very deep connection no matter where we are. She is and always has been a rock, a sanctuary and a woman overflowing with a passion for fairness, equality and justice. Thank you for everything you have done to make me a better person.   

Green Soup

At the Mercado I saw a bag of freshly cut beans. They are called by many names, but I like the name Roman Beans.  They were sliced in thin pieces and mixed with a few carrot pieces.   I picked up the bag and my veggie lady told me they are for soup and proceeded to point at other ingredients to go with it.  I was wondering what to make for dinner...problem solved!

Roman Beans, Carrot, Potato, Zucchini, Onion, Garlic and I added Ginger, Fresh Spinach, Parsley and some powdered veggie broth.  Wow, it is a keeper and so delicious.  

With a piece of our favorite toasted bread called Rio Maior

And a drizzle of olive oil

We will be making this again!

Wheels Were Invented For a Reason

Being stubborn is part of getting older.  We see elderly women wheeling carts everywhere they go.  Both Vince and I didn't want to be pegged as old people not being able to carry our bags ourselves.

After living here for a year and a half and me needing to see a doctor recently for tests that show I have a small tear in my rotator cuff tendon we finally gave up.  The tear is small enough not to need surgery, but I am not allowed, by decree of my sweet husband, to carry anything on my shoulders.

We checked out the many variety of wheeled carts and choose one with three wheels that is good for stairs and curbs. 

Having picked out the one we wanted and we headed to our favorite market where I usually have to be careful of how much to buy because it gets quite heavy.   It is really nice to get what we want and not have to worry anymore.

Our 1 1/2 mile walk back home was quick and easy! 

And I apologize to all those wise, brilliant older women! 

From Clouds to Sea

This is the lake where I was born.  This is the dock where Vince and I had our first kiss!

We have been fortunate enough to live and experience different climates on our big blue marble including, the mountains, desert, ocean gulf, river and lake.  My first impressions of water was the lake resort town where I was born and lived for 18 years.  I remember taking swimming lessons when I was about 4 and I still have vivid memories of sticking my face in the water practicing blowing bubbles.  As I got older, the lake was my playground and my home.  During the hot summer months the lake would often have algae blooms and I would come out of the water covered in thick green slime and smelling oh so lovely!    The algae would choke the oxygen out of the water and as I would raise my head there was usually a large dead catfish in my face.  Of all the places we have lived, I have always loved being near water the most.

I love Coimbra with the Rio Mondego only a 5 minute walk from our house.  It is peaceful, quiet and welcoming.  And I get to be near it every day.

When we take cruises I love just being on the ocean.  I could very easily not see land for weeks and be in heaven.  To see the curve of the earth at the horizon is spectacular and I like to float in the pool, while floating in the ocean, while floating in the Universe. 

These pictures are from Kauai, Hawaii

 This is a video of the Mermaid Fountain at Allerton Gardens in Kauai

This picture was taken at Hobbiton in Matamata, New Zealand

We met some very like minded people from Taneatua, New Zealand.  During our time together they shared with us the gift of Maori culture, history and celebrations and we came away with our hearts filled with love.  Thank you Mel and Max!

 Another beautiful Maori quote

This is by far the most favorite thing I have ever written.

I Am

I am rain splashing into a babbling brook. Gently floating on sunshine

I am the babbling brook stretching and swelling bouncing off rocks, jumping over the precipice and crashing to the bottom

I am a giant river fast and deep, excited, anticipating home

I am the Ocean caring for species unknown

I evaporate and become the clouds

I am rain

Always Give Yourself a Present on Your Birthday

In the past I have tried to make everyone's birthday special including my own. Celebrating the life of those you love is a very nice thing to do and can be full of laughs but sometimes things don't work out as you planned.

“It's the thought that counts” ….. really means that you should always think things through completely before you make a phone call to that special loved one at 6 am and play the Beatles Birthday Song blasting in their ear! I can't apologize enough for my over exuberance when all you really needed and wanted was to sleep in from your late nights studying for your masters degree! Moments like that scar people for life.

Then there was the very funny time when I pestered my son for weeks that he should buy me flowers on his birthday. It appeared he ignored me so I moved on. We were going to the movies for his birthday and he paused to opened the trunk of his car while I wasn't looking and put something behind his back. The sweetheart proceeded to remind me of my request and how he thought it was a very lovely idea. I nearly died from laughter when he handed me a large sack of flour! And, yes, I did go home and put that same flour in a beautiful vase on the dining room table!

So, my present to myself this year is going to be a cake, and not just any cake. My favorite is German Chocolate Cake....but, 

I can't find the ingredients here so I decided on a Super Moist Vanilla Cake with Vanilla Butter-Cream Frosting and I plan to decorate it with fresh flowers. The picture I have in my head is something like this.

  

It will be interesting given the fact I am NOT a baker! 

The cake is only the the vehicle to which I intend to fully embrace my dream. Like a person being terrified of heights and forcing themselves to confront their fear, I am the opposite and I am hoping that by fulfilling my passion I will finally be able to let it go. I can't recall how long I have had this dream, but ever single time I am in the presence of a celebration cake I can hardly control myself.  For many years I have been able to keep my poise and dignity intact but not today!

I don't follow the lines when I color.

I don't walk on the sidewalk with all of the sheeple.

And at the age of 63 I am doing what will be considered “Unbecoming for a lady my age”

Happy Birthday to Me!

This is my final result

Oh yes I did!

 We all expected to see my face covered in frosting but it was firm not fluffy

That is two bites worth

I can have my cake...

How did you feel?
I was apprehensive because I didn't want to ruin how pretty it was, but that only lasted a few minutes.  I was hoping that it tasted good so I wouldn't have to spit it out in the video!

What was it like?
Sinking my face all the way into the cake and taking a huge bite was amazing!  I am glad they told me to do it again.   After I cut a slice for each of us from the opposite side and took a bite with a fork, I said, "Well, this is a boring way to eat cake!"

Did it work?
I won't know for sure until I am near another cake, but I really don't think so.  I might have created a monster.  We had a fun conversation about what has gone through my head at wedding receptions!

My presents.  The book treasure box is from my friend E.V. and the chocolates are from Vince.  I bought myself the Kinder Egg and the cobblestones are for a painting project with E.V.

I have wondered what is inside the Kinder Eggs. They are not illegal in Europe, but they are in the U.S. because there is a toy inside. It is a law from 1938!

This is my new desk for crafts, sewing and whatever.

My Birthday Thoughts

Birthdays are a better time than New Year's for me to think about where I am and how I feel about the future. I will be 63 in a couple of days and it sure sounds strange to my ears. Thirty years ago I thought that 63 was really old. In my mind I saw that person as feeble, dottering, unable to remember what they were going to say, much less, carry on a conversation. Oh, they also walked with a cane, and smelled old like I remember my grandfather did when I was a small child.

You can be assured I don't smell like an old man and I don't walk with a cane. In fact, I walk 2 to 4 miles a day! My calves look almost as good as the older women that have been climbing the hills and stairs of Coimbra all their lives! Those calves look like they belong to a 20 something marathon runner!

I read a “scientific” study that said older people can't remember or recall what they are going to say is because their brains are full. It is like a computer loading and sifting through data to find the file you are looking for.....it just takes a minute.

Most days I feel like I can conquer the world. But, then there are days where I pull a muscle sleeping. How in the hell do you hurt yourself sleeping?

I have plans, dreams, goals, hopes and wishes to fill my days and I am so very happy to be another year older. The skin I'm in feels like a cozy, soft, well worn pair of slippers. I love it and I will continue to take care of it so we can make all of those dreams come true.